The Bill Hicks Story

I'm watching the Bill Hicks story and it seems very relevant to what I'm working through in my life at the moment. Hicks was a bodhisattva of comedy and once he stepped on the spiritual path he had no choice but to become a self-actualized spiritual comedian or a human train wreck. For some people, and I suspect I'm one of them, the spiritual path is like Neo's choice in the Matrix.
"You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." -Morpheus
Whatever plans you had, whatever expectations you had about life are all now moot. As a child I wanted to be the next Isaac Newton, but once I became a yogi I became even more ambiguous. What truths would a realized and enlightened Isaac Newton be able to grasp, what service would be he able to perform for humanity? What would it mean to be a bodhisattva of science and technology? This is the mission of my life and it is interesting to note that this also perfectly alines with the totality of my remaining interests. I still feel real passion for social justice and advancement and I am very focused on writing the core truths that I have come to understand. Every mental health catastrophe is a potential spiritual victory and my entire personal predicament at the moment could be nothing more than the spiritual cocoon for a transformation into my "butterfly" form. Although I've been hoping that God would just speak directly to me, sometimes the problem is that we are doing a crap job of listening. If you are being stupid, God always has the option to just reduce everything down to one possible path.